Why I am on the computer more ofen. I should hate the computer, Im practically a drone I sit on one all day when im at work ,and then I get home and hop on this one to do mindless endless searches for stuff that doesnt matter. I havent bought anything for awhile but decided to take a crack at Yjapan. Anywhoos I wasnt looking carefully and bought the darn wrong socks, I told celga immediately that i made a mistake and then they said. "we need the url" of course there response happened while i was asleep and ive won the bid. Why did they ask me for the url? I gave it to them in order to bid cant they like,look it up or something. But o well it isnt soo much of a lost and this is my first time trying it so i probably just got a lil carried away. Ill probably be stuck with the socks though because I doubt anyone would want to trade :-( but for the record,shopping through yjapan is pretty fun theres a lot of rare stuff on there so i was actually enjoying just browsing.

Well I think Im going to go back to watching episodes of xena and doing nothing else for the hell of it but I cannot stay on the computer much longer for my eyes are going to fry out.I have tomorrow off,thank the gods, but have to be at work the next day at 5am. ewwwwwwe

I just wrote a post on egl regarding my fanplusfriend issue.
I try not to judge business on their country of orgin, If something was made in china I didnt care,but after hearing some recent reports and just out of the way they conduct business over there I decided to try my hardest not to buy anything from China,If its lolita I'll just have to buy it from Japan. When Im at the store its really hard to tell, and some places just decide to have their clothing sewn or things made in china anyway .which sucks. They have to start bringing business back here even when it comes to tailoring. Look at all the clothes from the 1900's-1950's the clothing rocked hard back then and overall everything was just well-made and detailed. Its definitely why i enjoy going to vintage clothing shops and buying clothes from over there . I simply am not going to find the quality i want if its from china. I seem to do very well with buying things from Europe as well. And as for america, well I simply dont know what american things look like cause all i see is made in china..

was wondering if anyone would be interested on my friends list here for a meetup. really would like to know what people would want since we have the space/facility to do this and can maybe start something really cool. I would like to target this specifically for those in the age range of 18-38 because they rarely are at the meetups and conventions that are held or very few i should say. Anywhoo thank you if you fill this out.
http://spreadsheets.google.com/embeddedform?key=t-3mkbfKTgs-pMnOd_2FSWQ

 

dont forget to check my deviantart for my most recent creative splurges!

I'm supposed to go the ren faire with Demetria tomorrow. Or later today rather(its 5:00 am right now) but I dont think I should be going. My mom wants me to go because this will probably be my last chance in awhile to go out and have fun, I just got a full -time job so no doubt about that, but I reaally dont want to spend anymore money on stuff until I get a paycheck and going to the ren faire is a for sure way for me to accidentally/ non-purposely spend 200 dollars on clothes,food or whatever I find there because I'll be simply wandering around on my own.
This morning/yesterday morning I woke up to the sound of someone banging on our door and windows.My mom was freaking out, and yes it is scary to have someone banging endlessly and loud on your windows, ringing the doorbell a jazillion times and you have no idea why. Plus its rude!!- but its obviously the dude's job.

 This guy was banging on our door and windows to let us know the car was getting repossed due to my mom not paying something.
I'm giving my mom a lot of money today to help pay off the car, but I barely have any money left as it is. I  seriously dont want  to go to the ren faire today with all this going on and wipe out both my accounts even if i did just get a job, its not exactly promising, anything in the world could happen what if they decide to fire me during training week or some shit. 

We have no idea of where the car is or where they took it away to and who knows what else theyll charge for letting it out. Only when something serious and bad like this happens will my mom actually give a crap. My mom knew she wasnt paying whatever bill this was, but I think when she realizes she cant pay something, she just ignores it because there is nothing she can do. If it wasnt bad enough what happened to the car, the police came to my house and served divorce papers.Fortunately she wasnt home at the time. but I'm angry at my stepdad because he knows what kind of financial problems weve been through and wants the  7,000 dollars he gave her as a gift, back.Then he added an extra 500 dollars on the divorce settlement which I'm assuming are my driving lessons? He said it was supposed to be a gift to me! If it was supposed to be a gift why is it on the divorce papers. My driving lessons have already been paid for but, I havent gone and took the lessons yet so I'm glad! Now he can get his stupid money refunded back to him, Isac is obviously very very mentally ill and I have no more respect for him because of what hes done,just completely selfish.

 My mom has been making a lot of promises and putting a lot of efforts into getting a good job for almost the past year but instead of just looking for  any job thatll pay the bills she was very particular about getting a job at a university. For some reason she wanted to get a university job, so she applied at every single college in the city only to be turned down. So when that didnt work she started applying for Government jobs which are even harder to get into.I tell her its great that shes been looking for a good job,but problem is the whole time shes been looking for a good job she couldve had an normal job.Its not like she doesnt have the work experience She is more qualified than half the people in the market of looking for a job . I am just going to have to plan to have a good summer next year and maybe things willl be better. I havent gone to any events besides the bon odori festival at mitsuwa  I havent been anywhere where I know Ill possibly be spending over 100 dollars or more. its not practical, its bad enough that I spend a lot of money on lolita but i'm not spending as much as I would if I had a a job of course.I've been selling a lot of my things to try and make up for me buying other things . I still buy the groceries for the house pay off the cell phone bill and give my mom gas money or whatever and for the past 6months I havent had a job! Its Amazing I've lasted this long.

I finally have a job! I really cant belive it !!! I'm having such a hard time beliving it, and so far so good everything about the job is awesome. Its close to my house, the pay is greaaat!  I get benefits and the whole shabang. I really have John to thank because my computer wasnt acessing the companys website for their online  application and it was imperative that you fill it out! My computer is retarted but John was online the next day and on a fling I asked him if he could see the application on his computer knowing mines a complete retard and  He ended up filling out the whole application  for me!!  I love you hon! .

  The crazy thing about applying for this job was the group interviews! I had a total of 4 group interviews.There were definitely 300 people who applied, and like a gameshow after each interview theyd walk in and tell a couple of other people to go home. I swear it waas the most nerve racking and scary experience ever! Just Brutal!  I really couldnt belive how  many people who walked in there to apply and all the talent I was up against. I kept saying " there is nooo way im gonna get this job"  everyone there was very very qualified a lot more qualified than me.  most people were in their mid-20's and up.  I did notice however after the first cut, that anybody with visible tattoos and or  piercings had magically left the room  So just a hint to everyone even if the job doesnt require you to be face to face with the public they obviously still dont like body mods. It sucks! Yea ! but thats corporate america for ya.

  

okay so maybe shes a bit handicapped but yay i made something! my next bear is going to be posted as soon as im done with him hint hint* hes lavender big thanks to amber for the pink yarn!

I've been waiting forever!!!! and I mean forever for my shoes and they havent even shipped them out. They sound like complete idiots sometime. I know some ppl working there might not be able to speak english but I can tell. Theres a difference between not being able to speak good english and then using that to just come off as not being able to speak good english. An asian friend of mine even told me this!  I sent them a message asking if my shoes had been shipped out . The person says:
 
Let me go check if they were shipped out if  not they will be shipped within 4-5days.


I send them another message and say: okay thank you and were they shipped out? I know youre a busy business and I dont mean to bother but I was hoping to get the shoes at a specfic time.

Then they say:

Hello there you will get them in weeks
best regards
Ling

Then I say:
could  you please specify how many weeks? and when I will get the tracking number you promised at the top of your page

Their reply:
hello, there. sometimes there are specail case we have to face. >.< in order to resolve your case, we are pleasure to offer you one pair os socks as gfit. sorry for late best regards ling

Isnt a pair of socks supposed to come with the order anyway ?! or are you offering two pairs of socks?? grrrrr.

So 5 months ago I had a photo-shoot with a  photographer. I wasnt getting paid as ususal but since he was a well-kown and really good photographer I thought the shoot with him would be great for my portfolio. I get to his studio which is one of those rented out storage type rooms the ones that a lot of musicians and photographers seem to have. Prior to our shoot we had talked on the phone and had kind of brainstormed ideas. He didnt mention anything to me about doing nude or implied nudewa over the phone but was soo eager to concentrate on nude shots when i got there. the shoot waasnt horribly bad tho I  was uncomfortable with him wanting to do nude. I did not go to that shoot thinking i would pose nude. for the most part the photos were kind of decent. there may have been a few shots where my top waas showing but it was still artistic looking and not necessarily tastless. He walks me to the train station. which was nice of him and says that ill haave the photos to you in a week.

It has been 5 months and still no photos!!! I send him a message. At first he ignores me. I send him another one and he keeps saying O Ill have them to you from within the week.WTF!  Thats what he says everytime!

I know photographers are people and people have lives but from day one he shouldve been honest with me about it.I talked to a model named shy and she said he did the same to her but she atleast got her photos! She said she had to go to his studio and get the remaining photos. I contacted him asking if I could possibly do the same come by and pick up the photos and heard no reply! I honestly dont know what else to do I've contacted the man a lot of times and still havent gotten my photos My stepadad seems to think hes selling the nude photos of  me or trying to sell them before giving them to me. but I seriously dont understand why he would do that. My mom says that i can kiss the photos good bye. I just dont see the point in why he cant and hasnt give me the photos and what harm could it do by being given to me. I'm sooo very tired of being ignored and putting the effort into things for people  to practically be run over. I putt my butt on the line for that  shoot,I didnt get home that night until 12 . Had to walk home late at night in a really rough neighborhood with a suitcase full of clothes. But to me at the time, the shoot was worth it! I was psyched about that shoot and I put soo much time into getting a wardrobe together for the photos to just be tossed into the wind. I feel like only someone would do this to me and only me because I appear to be soo nice niave and can be blown off.

it is amazing that I am even able to type this my body aches right now from tearing down the sylin online boothe, but since i havent and probably wont write about my whacky and wild experience at wizard world  I thought Id do it now while I'm online. I met lori petty mostly known as tank girl! she came up to me while I was selling t-shirts and not realizing it was her i treated her like a normal costumer  asking her if she needed help finding anything and how she was. It wasnt until i heard her voice and got a good look at her eyes that I was like...omg! but just to be sure I said"you look soo familiar..." she said im lori petty all calmly while shifting through tshirts. She let me give her a hug!  My boyfriend has the biggest crush on her so I just had to say to her that she is my main competition.  After hearing my boyfriend was in Iraq she was sooo nice and supportive about him being over there right now . Two dudes I was working with thought of lori as being mean because she wouldnt take a random picture with them but she mustve liked me because she was super duper cool!! I mean seriously,she gave me a very special gift which i cant bring up right now
 !! I look awful !! but whatever i got a picture!
I met kynt and vyxsin againt this year and we spent a lot of time being cam whores lol I think between my camera and their camera we took 10 photos on friday and then some again today/sunday

 





 
I forgot to ask the guy takin the picture to hold the camera as still as he possibly couldmy camera has a low shutter speed so thats why its all bluy! but  you can kinda see how great kynt's poses were

And here is a close-up of my big head and awful tan this summer!lol
I met kynt and vyxsin againt this year and we spent a lot of time being cam whores lol I think between my camera and their camera we took 10 photos on friday and then some again today
 

The one day i got to wear full on lolita was today  because i didnt have to start work until 2:30 but I thought I'd run some errands by getting signatres for my mom  "billy dee" was $40 and nichelle nichols had left .  
 (I thought this was funny, billy dee is like im soo cool im  wearing sunglasses inside!)

I went up to jermey bullock(boba fett) and showed him the random photo of me and he and his wife really got a kick out of it.Jermey is cool thats a dude who i also think is awesome. the young boba fett was also at this con and though i didnt get a chance to meet him I have to say he fuckin hot! look that kid up he is gorgeous and he looks completely different from when he was lil! Not that he wasnt a cuute kid. 

 Im also taking this opportunity to show off emilie autumn pictures. she was like growling at me in this photo lol so i didnt get a good photo cause my camera ran out of memory and carlos's camera had run out of battery but the other ppl i went with got really good pictures with her!

 (singing the art of suicide)

 her book reading

Here is the post for all the stuff I'm selling These things have gotta go. I really need to clear out all these clothes.Most are brand new and unopened

http://www.modelmayhem.com/po.php?thread_id=485503

Okay, not to drag Michael Jackson's death out any farther, I just wanted to share that I went to the Jackson's family home yesterday !  The decision to do this was totally out of the blue and only planned the night before,but with Gary, Indiana only being about an hour drive away from Chicago; me,Carlos anad his dad made the trek. I got to see the house Michael was born and raised in, and I guess the whole family stayed there until they made enough money to move out. The house was soooooooo very small. I couldnt belive that 11 people stayed in that tiny house which barely had 2 rooms and if there were 2 rooms they were very small ones. The town of Gary Indiana itself was very much in shambles, every where you looked poverty had strucken and besides the  amount of people crowding around Michael Jackson's home everywhere else you looked seemed like a ghost town. The town's only pride and joy was that Michael Jackson was from there,the sadest part is you could tell people did live in this town, but you looked around and kinda were like..."where?" Every house every building looked like it had been nuked. It is obvious that the Jackson Family came from very very humble beginnings and as I looked around in mere shock at how tiny his house was I could understand why someone wouldnt want to return there. There was a baseball field behind the Jackson's home and about 2 blocks down there was Roosevlet high-school where Michael had first performed and won a talent show from what I hear.





 The back of the house.

 
The side. the red paragraph towards the bottom is me. I wrote the longest thing ever!

I finally sold this blonde dread wig!



And I have gotten an awful lot of inquiries about the wig on the right which will hopefully sell in the next few days. Yes I have an obession with black and white and yes I daringly put amiria in the sailor outfit I think its cuute. I am not sure if i will sell anymore of this sailor outfit on my site or not, I'm always tempted to wear the dress myself but I havent yet so far this summer.
I want  to sew on a waist tie!. which I was too lazy to do for the photoshoot :-(  I promise next time, i wont make my models wear black and white ! Someone's gonna start noticing this constant black and white trend of mine.


Also here is a set I did for laura that  I have to show off.Friggen awesome photos that she takes


I'm up at 6am this morning because I went to go see the opening of harry potter at midnight. A small group of my  old high-school friends from St. Scholastica sometimes invite me to see openings with them. I mostly went to hang out with them because or else I dont see them at all! Going to the opening of harry potter was probably sucicide because of all the folks rushing in to see it,but we did manage to stay together and get seats.My review on harry potter is that it was good and funny. I'm not a huuuge fan of the books but I do like the whole theme and setting of harry potter.There is a lot about jk's writing style that annoys me , however,I do own all of the books, I will pop in one of the movies anyday over reading. If i read itll just be so i can  get information on what the movie missed out  But yea it was good! special effects get better and better,the boys get  older and hotter and of course the girls do too.Some steamy romance scenes but they didnt over do it Id give it an A- obviously not an A+ for the natural gaps of story-line they leave out but it was nice. Helena Bonham Carter is Freakin Awesome.Ralph Finnes doesnt make an appearance in this movie but his super curte evil nephew does.

I've been watching CNN endlessly it seems for the past two weeks.The coverage of Michael Jackson's death.My mom and I taped the memorial service this morning, and Ill definitely watch the beginning cause I didnt see it. I still cant believe that man is no longer here. Since probably day one of me walking I mimicked not only Michael but Janet Jackson as well .Not long ago my mom was just commenting on how much of an influence he had on my childhood.

On my one and only  trip to disneyland when i was 5 years old I saw the 3-D Captain EO, I've added it to  this page and I seriously reccomend you watch it ,its one of those videos that got kind of swept under the rug and not shown very often..I loooved michael soo much when i was a kid, I saw all his music videos ,and watched moonwalker constantly.
Once the Captain EO film was over they were still playing the music outside of the theatre to it. I dont recall doing this: my mom says I started dancing outside to the song. I knew all his moves and had them down! A crowd gathered around me just to see me go and according to her i performed the moves for as long as i could. I dont remember doing this at all! But its just another example of how influenced I was by him and how many kids and people  were influenced by him.

My aunt had the pleasure of working with and knowing Michael when was little . She was on tour with the Jackson 5 as a back-up dancer during the 60's. She said Michael always sat in her lap and was so playful.
My aunt was soo very lucky to meet him and yet she is one of those people that judged Michael really harshley.It is clear that this man made a difference in sooooooooo many lives, he helped the poor, those who were ill, handicapped and he was obviously without a doubt a good father.Thats all that should matter!  I cant believe that Pat King got on nationally television and called michael a pervert. The man is dead and you are still bad mouthing him! What the hell! I have never cried about any celebrity as I have michael it is just really sad.I feel horrible for his children and I cry everytime they replay Paris speaking about how much she loved him just very touching.And I hope from here on out people wil remember him for his jaw dropping performances and how helped humanity. Not all the other bull-shit.

 </lj-embed></div>

I think they have the right to know. One of my mom's friends has a cancerous tumor. He went into surgery for the tumor but when they opened him up, they saw that it was worse / the cancer had spreaded. The hospital just sewed him back up because there was nothing they could do . The doctors told his family that he is dying, but the family decides not to tell him that hes dying, because they feel he will live longer not knowing. Iono if I agree or disagree with this. On one hand if I didnt know I was dying I would continue on living not feeling anything was wrong with me and i would be happy that i survived the tumor.  but maybe, if I knew I was dying and that I had a limited amount of time left I would try to live everyday as if it were my last. Go on a trip and do things that excite me, tell people things that I never had the courage to tell them etc. etc. Its just sad that everyone knows but him! I mean I know and I barely know him.

Sorry my camera is a horrible one, but here are two pics of the skirt that came with my lucky pack. Its Ironic that I bought the candy house jsk version of this print and in the same color but ended up selling it. at first when I opened up the package I thought I was getting the jsk again. The skirt could also work great for and underskirt or petti for someone that owns the jsk
The going price seems to be 30.00 so thats what I'll sell it for

The sales page of my site is back up  if any one is interested in anymore of my sales. I have a baby the stars shine bright skirt, qipao dress,dread wig and those orange and black tripp pants you can kind of see here.I'm soo tired of my site going down unexpectedly and back up again so I've made a back up of the sales page
http://www.pennydreads.com/sale.html

backup; http://www.geocities.com/pennydreads//sales.html

I feel incredibly discouraged 
and so upset that I havent left my bed or the house since last friday, and the only reason I did leave the house was just so I could  ship out a package, andf take another look at my goodreau doll that isnt mine anymore. 
After having a talk with my stepdad yesterday he made feel awful about buying the goodreaudoll stating that,"you almost lost your house and you're buying a stupid doll!" so later on I  call gigi's and canceled further payments on my goodreadoll but kept the payments on my mom's doll.  My stepdad agreed to pay for my mom's chatty kathy doll which he says has sentimental value but  that I shouldnt be buying my doll right now when I dont have a job. I'm very unhappy right now for a lot of reasonsbut The doll "was" something I looked forward to because I know it would've made me happy. At this time I really need some cheering up and I find that almost nothing makes me happy or feel comfortable. Getting Loli clothes is something that makes me happy so I pulled the money out of my ass to buy meta's luckypack this season only to be insanely dissapointed with what I got which I'm surprised by I've never been dissapointed with their luckypack! I dont even think anyone would want to possibly buy or trade for  any of the things I got except for the socks. I liked the fact that they gave me a pair of socks, but I have nothing to go with them. I feel jipped out of 75.00 all of a sudden.

I like this photo cause I'm actually smiling!!!! Ive never dared to smile in photos because of my crooked teeth

Ahh my spending has gotten worse and I dont have a job :-(. I've applied everywhere and dont even get a thank you for applying mam. The only jobs that ive been offered are ones where I'm getting scammed. I just dont get it! Are people freaking out when they see my resume because I've worked at a funeral home or something? Are they thinking I dont have enough experience? Iono its straaange. Finding a job was soo easy for me beore soo I'm just gonna assume its the economy.

I bought my first ball jointed doll and I bought a chatty kathy doll for my mom which she tells me got torn up on christmas morning by her cousin when she was little,when she saw the doll at gigi's shop she started tearing a bit.  I figured it would be good to be in support of an American bjd doll company when it goes for buying my first doll. She is from goodreau dolls.
I was at first going to get a delilah noir doll but I loved this dolls features a lot more! I think she looks a lot better in person then she does in the picture here. I have her on layaway and yet I'm already tempted to shop for her and buy her  clothes and wigs but her sweet outfit is very adorable. The next doll I buy once i get a job of course will be from eluts.com I''m not sure what type of doll i want yet, but since Ive been staring and drooling at  the eluts site since i was a sophmore in high-school, I know I'll treat myself to one of their dolls sooner or later

Sooo Pennydreads.com is back up! Go visit Go visit ! even if you dont need dreads, take a glance at the layout. Very Loli themed

http://www.pennydreads.com